A page from my diary…

“Yes, I am going to disappoint you. But don’t you know that already!” Though it wasn’t a bombshell, still, I exploded hearing it from my dad.

I wasn’t able to digest that stern rejection from him. My mind, which was flying like a multi-colour feathered bird, suddenly went off-colour and gone astray.

My dad is an excellent father who wants to be perfect in his role. So it is absolutely right for him to reject my plan of attending an event in the city’s reputed social club that evening. Because he knew that 9th grade mathematics is hard to crack and having math exam next day I needed so much of working out. So, for him, attending that event is a time waster.

“But I would be missing this one-time chance to meet Mr.Z who will be addressing in the event”, I frowned.

 Mr. Z, a famous poet is the one who kindled my craving for the lovable language, Tamil. Though he writes so many songs in movies, his poems have always made me wonder how the hell he is doing this magic with the language. And missing to see him in person, so close, was something of a lifetime opportunity missed, I thought.

“Had dad failed to recognise my fond over literary? Or doesn’t he know that the guest of the event there is my inspirational idol?” I wasn’t able to prepare for the exam as I felt dejected that why my dad couldn’t understand one evening out will not make any difference in my exam as I haven’t already prepared anything! I was so confident of not scoring anything higher than average, despite attending the event or not!

Months passed by and one fine day there was a reason to celebrate. I won in a Tamil oratory at an inter-school competition and my parents rejoiced my victory. But more than them I was fascinated. No. It was not because of the delight of success. The prize that I unwrapped in my hands was a brand new book of Tamil poems penned by Mr. Z!

Years rolled on and I started pursuing graduation in Commerce. One afternoon, while walking in a park with a group of friends, a friend of mine from another State, said there is nothing much to admire in Tamil, in a sporty conversation. This prompted me to quote and explain few Tamil poems to make her comprehend the beauty of Tamil language and said “You should definitely read Mr. Z’s Poems and you won’t say this”. And I added, any 1 in every 4 songs she would hear in a day would be of Mr.Z’s and incidentally we were hearing a song in distance, and I stopped to hear it evidently and remarked, “Even this song which you hear now is Mr.Z’s!”

We kept walking alongside the park and certainly with keen interest, rolling her eyes, she asked “hey, you keep talking about him n his poems…. who’s that Mr.Z ?” and before I could answer her, all of a sudden I froze. You know what? It was like a spellbound… Yes. My heart skipped few beats as my vision turned towards him. Slowly I raised and pointed my hand upon a charismatic person sitting majestically under a tree, penning down and showed her, “He is here… It’s him!”

Ahead of me, she ran near him in exhilaration and spoke to him “OMG, I couldn’t believe this. Just now my friend was talking about you and you are here!”

After that it was a memorable 6 minute talk with Mr.Z, whom I have adored from my childhood for his literary works.

“Dad, you know what, a long pending wish from my bucket list was fulfilled today”. As I exclaimed to my dad, he was beaming with a wide smile that he contagiously caught from me. “Oh, what’s that?” he asked.

“I unexpectedly met Mr.Z and had an inspiring conversation!” I paused. Then in a mocking tone, I continued, “This day should have happened five years ago if you hadn’t stopped me attending that event when I was in 9th grade. I have even recorded that painful day in my diary”.

My dad’s smile vanished immediately. His face shrunk and it pricked me to see him like that. I went near my dad to appease him; he slowly grabbed my hand and said “I never thought that would have hurt you so deep that you’ve even written down in your diary. Had I been that bad father?” My heart crushed in guilt as he took my words as dishonour for his fatherhood. My eyes welled up and I just hugged my dad and said, “Sorry Dad…Sorry. You knew already that I am bad at mathematics. So you wanted me to focus on exam preparation and that was the priority then. And dad,  had not that day happened, I would have not cherished this endearing day in my life. You’re the best always!”

This incident may not sound that important to you, but this gave me some amazing nuggets of realisation.

Every behaviour of ur parent has a positive intention. Some times we are too insensible to realise it.

In life, if something gets delayed, it’s eventually for good. Life will surprise you someday and then, the joy what u experience will be  priceless!

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